MAY 15th - AUGUST 9th

You wish that someday they will build a statue of you. You have not considered this fully enough as building a statute out of your various body parts is likely to be slightly painful and not as fulfilling as you like. You are lucky in love but less lucky at spelling. You make all the common mistakes like “cemetery”, “a lot” and “Dial 0 for directory assistance”.  Inevitably, all your love interests will interpret your inability to spell as illiteracy and they will wonder how you have managed this far. Thinking that you have been able to get away with faking it for all these years, they will wonder what else you have been faking, come to believe that you are faking the love that the two of you share and are just using them to steal their credit card numbers. The only way to hold on to your significant others is to chain them to any of a number of things in your house. Not the toaster. That won’t work out as well as you may hope.

Your lucky numbers are: I’m not even going to list them since you’re illiterate and won’t understand them any way. By the way, thanks for the cool toaster.

If you buy Toby products, we promise you’ll get X-ray vision. Once you get your X ray vision, you’ll be able to see through that lie.