OCTOBER 28th - DECEMBER 31st
Your ability to hold your breath under water for 30 seconds impresses no one. However, your ability to hold your breath for 30 seconds under molten lava is the stuff that television specials are made out of. But you have a problem in that most television specials are half an hour long. So you have twenty-nine minutes and thirty seconds to fill up. Sure, commercials and opening credits will take up about 8 minutes of that but that still leaves you with a lot of dead air time you need to fill up with something. Quick, teach a monkey to tell jokes. Good, now get that joke telling monkey to rob a bank for you so you can have some cash to hire a professional entertainer with. Somebody cool too. You don’t want to be stuck with Tony Danza or Liberace. Actually, Liberace might be good. There aren’t enough xombies on tv. Oh, and spell xombie with an “x” instead of a “z”. It’s way cooler that way.
Your lucky numbers are: 1 because you are unoriginal. Oh yes you are, you had to hire Tony Danza to do your television special for you. How uncreative.
Confucius said something like material wealth does not make you happy. But he is dead. Why are you listening to a guy who can’t even figure out how to breath? Go buy some
